I just don’t want you to get hurt….

I would have been back in about 1979, I would have been 24 or so when Andie moved into our third floor suite. Newly divorced from another member of the rugby team, it was a safe place for her and TK ( my other roommate ) and I could look after her. Well it was safe except for all the germs in the kitchen from the dirty dishes that always seemed to be there…

One day Andie talked to me about about her plan to buy a batting cage and setup a little business. I immediately said, “You don’t want to do that, it’s bad idea.” She eventually decided against, but I have often wondered about my advice and why I answered that way. I was just trying to protect her. Protect her from what? She was ready to grow, to move out of her comfort zone and take a risk. I wanted her where she was, safe and broken. Maybe just like me.

Now if someone comes to me with an idea I say “Let’s look at the figures, are you willing to put in the time, what are the risks? Understand it, and then decide if it is a good idea to take the chance.”

I am not diminished by your success. I want you to grow, to succeed. After all, the rising tide lifts all boats.

So now if someone advises you against growth, be careful. They may be right, but they may be afraid of your success and want to keep you safe.

22 Comments on “I just don’t want you to get hurt….”

  1. the same way my friends tell me…. i would only get hurt if i go through it… but you know… i dont suppose they meant it… i told them it was ok to get hurt… i am up for it… then, we fought and argued.. and they threw harsh words and call me names…. at the end of the day, i realize that they are unhappy and just want you to be unhappy as well….

    i dont judge, i only tell them the ugly truth… and thats when i realized… they are all little girls inside… trying so hard to cover it up in suits and long for what i am blessed with ….

    but…who would find it if they sheild themselves? thank you for posting this. just what i needed to read.. your post is always a beautiful synchronicity. 🙂

  2. Shannon says:

    Great story! Remember how I used to never remember any plays after a basketball game and you remembered them all? 😉 I’m glad you stuck with this klutzy kid through the tortures and joys of 6th grade basketball!

  3. globalunison says:

    I agree, we should always ponder over the advice coming from various sources but when it comes to action, all we need is our very own brains!!

  4. jiltaroo says:

    My partner is not so much afraid of any success I may achieve but how it highlights is lack there of. That is why it is over for us!!!!

  5. What a beautiful post. Have you heard from her since? Ultimately, we all make our own decisions I think, regardless of what others say. Perhaps her dream wasn’t strong enough? I’m always amazed at the clarity of your memories.

    • billgncs says:

      she remarried and had twins after a long search for herself. Haven’t spoken to her in many years, but I suspect she is very successful.

      I used to have an almost eidetic memory ( photographic ), but since I turned 40, it has diminished. Jan would say I can remember every play of every game, as we would talk ad nauseum about them afterwards.

      what is interesting is I have very few childhood memories — maybe it is compensation.

  6. TheOthers1 says:

    An interesting thing to say. Makes me think of the things I’ve said to people in the past and why. I love the line the rising tide lifts all boats.

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