Cancer when you are trying to be rid of it haunts you. There always seems to be one scan cleared, but a blood test is awry and so a different scan is ordered. It is not binary, here or gone. Instead it always lurks, perhaps only in our minds.

And what is healing, or a cure? How miraculous that cells combine like the tiny machines that they are to close our wounds or swallow our enemies. And in the same manner, how tragic when their complex defense falls short.

When my father returned from World War II as a young man he had tuberculosis and a cancerous tumor on his neck. The hospital ward he was in was full of wounded veterans who had seen hard action. They often passed the time playing poker. A doctor once interrupted the soldier’s poker game to take Dad’s blood pressure. Dad had just won a big jackpot on the last hand and his blood pressure was elevated dangerously. The doctor told him that he wouldn’t live to get out of the hospital. Dad just laughed.

Many years later he told me that story, and then seriously said sometimes you have to decide if you live or die. I won’t say that we can always choose the result, but we can choose how we live, and express that in how we live each day.

May your days reflect your hope to others.


28 Comments on “questions”

  1. russtowne says:

    Thank you for choosing to live in a way that entertains, enlightens, and inspires others. The greatness of your spirit shines through in so much that you do.


  2. Seb says:

    Well and wisely said.

  3. Sunshine says:

    thank you for sharing your thoughts…and coming by to read a story i wrote.
    abundant peace and love to you. ❤

  4. Nadyess says:

    Wonderful words and true! Well said! Thank you very much for sharing them. 🙂 Also thank you for liking my post.

  5. Inspiring writing. I have lupus and used oxygen a year and a half ago. 4 years ago the doctors kept telling me I was very sick. Because I had no insurance I went to the city hospital and couldn’t get the test that I needed. When I became eligible for medicare I went to private doctors who didn’t tell me I was very sick. These doctors kept telling me I’m doing good and encouraged me to live. So I decided to live. Today I walk several blocks, I even ran up the stairs a week ago. Your father was so right. We choose whether we want to live or die.

  6. here’s hoping for you that all will be well!

  7. Whimsy Mimsy says:

    I hope your scans brought you good news, even with the ever-present lurking thoughts. Your dad spoke truly, and to think of it in more blunt terms, a quote one of my favorite movies, the Shawshank Redemption, “Get busy living, or get busy dying”. From reading your blog, I’d say you are choosing living.

  8. Very true – we really can choose how we live. Or to understand how we want to at least and move in that direction step by step, never losing hope.

  9. Your dad definitely had some pearls of wisdom, no? I missed reading your posts while I was away. They are always packed with wisdom, courage and encouragement.

  10. paula says: to choose. like that a lot.

  11. SocietyRed says:

    Good story, good message.
    Thanks for checking out my post and leading me to yours.
    Peace brother,

  12. Bill, a wonderful memory and musing! Thank you – Resa

  13. keep choosing how to live, dear Bill.

    It’s all any of us can do – and that pretty damn amazing.

    Your days reflect your hope to me – and all the rest of us.

  14. Positivity Bill my friend and loads of prayer, He is the great physician is He not? Your fears are justified but I will continue to believe that all is well with you! 🙂

  15. boomiebol says:

    This is very well said…

  16. Clanmother says:

    Well said, my friend! And a thought that I hold very close to my heart. Choice has the power to imprison or set free. I am so glad that we have connected over the blogger miles…

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