I was at a funeral a while ago, and someone spoke out of the hurt in their life from the deceased. I thought of Klingon revenge “A dish best served cold”, but wondered at the aftertaste.
There was pain, real pain there. I hoped for healing, but healing is hard to get from death. Perhaps forgiveness would better serve.

Rage hurt and anger dig deep inside us. They can fuel us in a crazy manner, great for sports like rugby or martial arts. However, in the end they own us and the person who harmed us takes something, controls something, our ability to experience joy. I think only forgiveness releases joy.

It’s strong medicine admitting we were wronged or hurt. The consequences of the action from the law, the world stand beyond our control. But if we can forgive we take back the ability to see them or not for reasons of our own. Our lives flow forward, nothing expected, just a free future.

Forgiving is something we do, we need no one’s permission or even their presence. Sill, make your peace while others are here. Too often I have seen the weight of words unsaid.

Forgive often, and let your full life be your revenge. Soon there will be no revenge, just joy.

68 Comments on “forgiveness”

  1. Baldeep Kaur says:

    Beautifully expressed!

    I truly believe that forgiving gives power to let go of our pain..

  2. tersiaburger says:

    So many comments and words of wisdom…My daughter suffered terribly for 11 years due to doctor error. She died on the 18th of January 2013. I am angry with those that hurt her – physically and emotionally, I am angry because friends and family deserted her, I am angry because of the pain and indignity that she suffered. Will I ever forgive? I don’t think so.

    • billgncs says:

      Certainly I would never advise either way, and I am sorry for the loss and suffering you and your daughter endured.

      Do you think your anger has changed you?

  3. JayNine says:

    Very well said. With every step of forgiveness, you are one step closer to freedom. Forgiving is a difficult process to say the least!

  4. Before this gets lost into the hundreds of other comments I want to say I love you and thank you for writing about this subject. Personally I battled myself trying to earn forgiveness, trying to gain it like it was an award.

    I found out that forgiveness is an action, it is not in words, but in what you do with your daily life that creates forgiveness. Now I am dedicated to helping others anyway I can. I started an organization, a website, a radio show, and coming soon a print magazine with free cd inside yay!

    If you want to have some of your writing posted there, let us know!

    • billgncs says:

      wow, you are rocking! If you like any post, you could certainly use it. If you wanted me to write on a specific topic, I could give it a shot. I am just a computer guy. Thanks for your comment

      • Love more, worry less. Right? How about you write about your life, take scenes out of it and make it into a short story blog kind of deal. I don’t know surprise us with something sweet! You are not just a computer guy, you have an inner voice that can speak to many. send over what ya got

  5. alesiablogs says:

    I was just about to write on this subject after my car accident. I have been very upset and trying to come to terms with the pain I am suffering from and all the damage I have incurred due to the negligence of others. One must forgive. Thanks for the reminder.

    • billgncs says:

      yes – it is a hard thing to free ourselves. I am sorry about your pain, I had a bout with that myself before my hip was replaced. I wish you healing and strength.

  6. prayingforoneday says:

    Reblogged this on Looking for reasoning to a complicated world and commented:
    Why we should never Holdon to the bitterness, resentment or guilt in life, and why we should always seek forgiveness. Loved this..

  7. prayingforoneday says:

    Brilliantly said, very “How I think”


  8. I agree with your positive take on forgiveness. Holding on to the bitterness, resentment or guilt is soul destroying.

  9. You are a wise Bill! _Resa xo

  10. Eric Alagan says:

    “However, in the end they own us and the person who harmed us takes something, controls something, our ability to experience joy. I think only forgiveness releases joy.”

    Now, these are words born of wisdom. Thank you for sharing, Bill – much appreciate this, really.


  11. Kristi says:

    Love it. Somehow we forget or choose to not forgive. Pride, assumptions and beliefs take over our hearts. Thanks.

  12. Forgiveness is the ultimate power. Nobody can stop you from forgiving somebody.

  13. susank456 says:

    Very wise words. There is a saying, “The best revenge is living well”. It shows you if not the person who wronged you that they don’t matter.

  14. I wish it were easy. When you said someone spoke out about the hurt. I was thinking about what I’d like to say at the father’s funeral. It’s very hard to hear many people say how amazing he was when he was a monster. I wonder if speaking the truth for that person may have been part of their healing or forgivness…I know I wasn’t there and didn’t hear the tone of it. I know it would feel good for me to say to all those that have known our family, what he was really like.

  15. Clanmother says:

    I got goosebumps as I read your post. Forgiveness is a verb that keeps us “flowing forward, nothing expected, just a free future.”

  16. Living after someone we knows dies gives us a collage of emotions. We vow to keep in touch but some how the distance grows again.

  17. Shannon says:

    Really good advice! Remember when you used to tell us to control our breathing when we were mad? πŸ™‚

  18. Absolutely brilliant Bill! Reblogging

  19. Lori Lipsky says:

    Terrific advice. Wonderful reminder. I do hope the person who spoke out at the funeral will be able to forgive and proceed in peace. Thanks, Bill.

  20. One important thing about forgiveness is that it’s not for the other person, it’s for you–for your release, for your healing, for your peace. That makes it worth striving to do.


  21. Powerful words and stellar advice.

  22. Bill, I love this! Well said.

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