of fires and miles

I was thinking about love the other day, not sure why, but my curse seems to be to ponder things I cannot understand.

A friend emailed me about loss and pain, and I was struck how we think that love that burns fiercely and brightly for a short time transcends all, but I realized that

Perhaps love is really measured in the distance we’ve come together – which is what makes it so precious.

and the love that burns long and true is hot enough to change our hearts forever. Which is truer ? I wish you the opportunity to discern the difference.


I just don’t want you to get hurt….

I would have been back in about 1979, I would have been 24 or so when Andie moved into our third floor suite. Newly divorced from another member of the rugby team, it was a safe place for her and TK ( my other roommate ) and I could look after her. Well it was safe except for all the germs in the kitchen from the dirty dishes that always seemed to be there…

One day Andie talked to me about about her plan to buy a batting cage and setup a little business. I immediately said, “You don’t want to do that, it’s bad idea.” She eventually decided against, but I have often wondered about my advice and why I answered that way. I was just trying to protect her. Protect her from what? She was ready to grow, to move out of her comfort zone and take a risk. I wanted her where she was, safe and broken. Maybe just like me.

Now if someone comes to me with an idea I say “Let’s look at the figures, are you willing to put in the time, what are the risks? Understand it, and then decide if it is a good idea to take the chance.”

I am not diminished by your success. I want you to grow, to succeed. After all, the rising tide lifts all boats.

So now if someone advises you against growth, be careful. They may be right, but they may be afraid of your success and want to keep you safe.