in the wild — friday fictioneers — unsubmitted

100 words, written for the Madison Woods Friday Fictioneers, constructive criticism welcomed.

I really struggled here, and didn’t link it back, instead starting over with brambles. If you like one over the other, I would be interested in your thoughts of why – bw

Adventure kept you young — you always laughed
secrets undiscovered, hands held delighted seeking
we two so full of youth it barely mattered

Traversing woods near river’s lazy banks
cross mossy paths, silent footsteps, ancient shady trees
where mosquitoes buzzed our only witness

Brilliant sunlight, secret grove, an Eden
Where abundant berries awaited
Unplundered by the wild and ravenous birds

Sun warmed, we feast and feed each other,
as shadows slowly lengthen
words cease and other hungers stir awake

Eyes sparkling blue, so deep inviting
taste of lips so sweet, delighting
I gently move to share the secrets of your heart